With my eyes barely opened, I looked at the clock at 5:45 AM…and went back to sleep. Even though I was barely conscious, I was lucid enough to realize that, as the saying goes, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am now retired from full-time work and can do whatever I want whenever I want, including luxuriating longer in dreamland.
I am fully awake now, and ready for the next phase of my life. Looking around the house and then, walking outside to get the paper, I am struck by my lack of stress.
I hear little things like the birds chirping and the wind rustling, and notice the weeds around my flower beds, and the debris that needs to be cleaned out of the little pond by my front door. I have no judgement about any of these things, just a calmness that is somehow soothing.
Coming back inside, I think about what I will do on this landmark day. Should I try something completely out of character or just have an ordinary day of running errands and puttering around the house? Somehow, what I will do does not really seem to matter; it is the fact that I have a choice that is so special.
As I look ahead to what my retirement life will look like, I am so excited. I will be working several days a month for my old company during times of my choosing, as well helping a friend with her company. I will be opening an online Etsy store and selling a few of my crafts as soon as I have enough items to post. I will occasionally travel including visiting my family in California. I will be identifying a volunteer opportunity so I can give back to my community and meet some local folks after being away from home so much with my old job. And that is just the start.
I have thought about Jeff a lot in the past few weeks as I wound down to this day. Sad to say, I think I am better prepared to retire than he would have been as he saw himself as his work, and could not separate the two. Still, it would have been wonderful to have new adventures with Jeff. I do miss him so much but, have learned to adapt well without him.
Interesting enough, I can write about Jeff now and not cry. Time does help heal all wounds even though we may wish things were different.
Now, as I finalize this blog entry, it seems like my body is vibrating and ready to spring into action. I do not ever remember feeling this free before and it is an amazing state of mind.
Truly, a new day starts now.
A New Day Starts Now 